Monday, June 6, 2011

bitter sweet weekend

Well what a time off mixed fellings
I have spent the weeked packing up my things and seperating that iam taking form the family home ready to move tomorrow.
its made me realize that alot of what we have is just stuff and this is a chanse for me to declutter iam only taking the bear minimum from the house as its my Boys home and i donot wount to leave it striped and them feel like there home is distroyed
Most of the things iam taking are my personal things hifi 1 off the 3 tv's my cd's cloths and tools far to many tools .

as i say its mixed feeling

Relif becouse i will be in my own home and away from the bitterness that i have lived with for
6 months

Sadness at leaving me 2 doys behined that is going to be very difficult to beal with 

Freedome to be myself again with out restrictions not hiding the true me ( how long to full time i ask my self  ??)

fear off being alone i no i have lived alone before but the thort of being alone is hared as i need some one to care for and would love to be care for in a loving relasion ship but that will have to be in the distant future as iam to much of a mess at this time

worry over money i no i will be ok in the long tearm but its going to be diffficult for some time setting up a new home from scrach is expencive and i admit i have expencive tasts in stuff .

but in less than 24 hours i will be in my new home  wish me luck :-)


Becca said...

It will take time and over the next few months may have challenges but looking back I hope you will see that it was the start of something good and positive.

Living alone can bring it's own challenges. I found the best way to cope was to go out and do things. It filled my life and I had a lot of fun doing so many new things.

I do wish you the best of luck - will be thinking of you


Nikki T said...

Thanks Becca

thats may plan to look forwords not back :-)